Tesla Lays Off High Performers, Shifts Focus to Robotaxi

Tesla's Trimmed Trees Grow Curious Fruit

In the land of Tesla, where electric dreams come true and monetary figures as high as their ambitious vision, something curious transpired. Our source, fully anonymous but clearly in the know, confirmed that even the company's high performers didn't escape recent layoffs.

Performance Pains

Giving the news a week ahead of Tesla's scheduled first-quarter earnings report, the beloved EV-maker revealed layoffs due to pinched profits. Surviving an ongoing price war, Tesla has on the one hand delivered a whopping record of 1.81 million vehicles in 2023. However, this doesn't tell the whole story. After lowering prices to spur sales and irk rivals, Tesla's margins have undergone a crash diet, shedding pounds faster than a seasonal juice cleanse.

Sweeping Cuts Across the Globe

According to Emperor Musk himself, in an envelope of an internal email, the pink slip pandemic affected more than 10% of the staff. That's approximately 14,000 workers from Uncle Sam's backyard down to the Great Wall and the Old Continent. Referred to as a company-wide Pharaoh's Dream of Seven Lean Years, these cuts are part of efforts to reduce costs and pump up productivity, all in anticipation of an EV summer of bountiful growth.

High-Stakes Brain Drain

Our anonymous tipsters unearthed that the ax had no respect for seniority or expertise, swinging freely to cut down numerous high performers, especially those serving on Tesla's lower-priority projects. One manager, now having more empty seats at team meetings, reported a whopping 20% loss from their skillful squad.

Musk's Automated Ambitions

This whole restructuring free-for-all appears to sync with Musk's pivot towards the high-stakes game of developing fully self-driving cars. Plans for a cheaper EV, once a shiny prize, are now scrapped and replaced with a blueprint for an anticipated robotaxi - queue drum roll for the August 8 unveiling. In the great tightrope walk of innovation, Musk remains steady with eyes fixed on the distant goal of a "clean robotaxi", sans steering wheel or pedals, no low-cost EV distraction in sight.

Executive Shuffle

The Tesla rollercoaster ride continues with the exit of two high-profile execs, Drew Baglino and Rohan Patel. After a whopping 18-year stretch, Baglino decided it's time to step off the Tesla treadmill, leaving the energy businesses he piloted in a strong state. Though not the first to depart, as the former CFO, Zachary Kirkhorn, had already hit the escape button a few months earlier.

Patel, giving no concrete reasons, pointed to significant shifts within the company as his stepping stone outwards. However, he did leave us with hope, showing confidence in Tesla's future vitality and the necessity of change.

One Giant Leap for Tesla

The bigger picture is beginning to emerge as information about the layoffs increasingly sees the light of day. However, one thing is certain: Tesla's leading man, Musk, is keen on staying in front of the crowd, enthusiastically encouraging advancements in AI, robotics, and his overall control of the Tesla narrative.